Tuesday, January 11, 2011
What turns men off?
Who even thinks to do such a study first of all? And why? But aside from that…
Neuroscientists from the Weizmann Institute of Science claim that the fifty men in the control group experienced a drop in testosterone of 13%.
Now here’s my problem: 13%? For guys? That’s nothing. At best that’s maybe one more drink.
So the Levine Institute set about exploring this further. For a guy to be sufficiently turned off to where he doesn’t want to have sex with a woman he was previously attracted to, testosterone levels must drop 87.3%.
Here are other factors that dampen a man’s sex drive along with the percentage of how much:
She has a swastika tattoo – 7%
She wants to play her Barry Manilow mix tape during – 3%
She calls out your business partner’s name – 5%
She wants to do it at church during Christmas Mass – 2%
She says you’re smaller than her last boyfriend – 6%
She says you’re smaller than the guy an hour ago – 7%
She has a testicle collection – 8%
She has hairier legs than you – 8%
She wants to do a credit check on you first – 1%
She’s in desperate need of an exorcist – 4%
She's in desperate need of exercise -- 5%
She was a champion on FEAR FACTOR – 4%
She has to ask her stuffed animals if it’s okay to sleep with you – 1%
She wants to turn the lights out when you take your clothes off – 2%
She was once married to Marilyn Manson – 8%
She wants to check her email during – 1%
She wants to smoke during – 2%
She wants to read my blog during – 60%
She’s Orthodox and only wants to do it through a hole in a sheet – 5%
Her biker husband is in the next room – 4%
She’s a suspected serial killer -- 7% at 8 PM, 1 % at 1 AM
She doesn’t believe in birth control – 45% at 8 PM. 0% at 1 AM
She’s dead – 73.2%
She’s Ann Coulter – 93.8%
I expect at least Nobel recognition for this vital study.