Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Sorry, I'm not THAT Ken Levine

Ken Levine but not me
This happened to me repeatedly at my ten-year high school reunion. Classmates throughout the night would approach and ask me, “Are you the guy on MASH?” When I’d say yes they’d shake their heads and say variations of, “Y’know, every week I see your name and think to myself, that can’t be you.” Thank you. Lovely.

But over the course of years I’ve encountered other Ken Levine’s. So to clarify, these are the Ken Levines I’m not.

The former newswriter for several local Los Angeles TV stations who CLAIMED he was me and on numerous occasions took credit for scripts I’ve written. Don’t think it didn’t get back to me, Ken!

The deadbeat who didn’t pay his Visa bill, which resulted in me getting about a hundred phone calls at all hours from the Bank of America. Who pays for hookers by credit card anyway?

The young newbie writer from Ohio who asked me what advice I could give him, since we had the same name. I suggested finding someone named David Isaacs and teaming up.

The far more successful video game developer who created BioShock. I wonder if the newswriter Ken Levine takes credit for that, too.

Another Ken Levine that's not me
The musician from South Africa who moved to the U.S. and has his own swing band that tours. I wish one of my classmates at the reunion had said, “Hey, did you become South African after graduation and make a bunch of records?”

The chef who recently posted a killer Matzah Brei recipe.

The one who imports custom golf gloves.

The CEO of NitroSecurity. Me and computers? I don’t even know how to change passwords.

The motorcycle rider/former teacher/now realtor in Baltimore. Hopefully he’s not still getting people telling him he was a lousy announcer for the Orioles.

The one on Facebook who will only divulge that his interest is women.

The one who is now a woman. “Do you Ken Levine take Ken Levine to be your lawfully wedded wife…?”

And finally,165 other U.S. citizens who share my name. So how do you know which one is really me? I’m the only one who will admit to writing AfterMASH.

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